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(or, ‘THE MASSIVELY, FABULOUSLY, WONDERFULLY, MAXIMALLY OPTIMISED GRANT-WRITING MASTERPLAN’)

Last night I found myself awake at 4am, cooking 56 meals, for no other reason than that I was avoiding writing a grant. Today I nearly had heart failure trying to get my grant finished, and may have set a Guinness world record for ‘The Latest Online Grant Application Ever Successfully Submitted’. I have finally decided that I would like to try a gentler system, and have come up with this aspirational grant-writing timeline for future endeavours. (And with that, I’m off to bed after eating a lovely pre-prepared dinner … cooking-as-procrastination has some upsides, at least 😉 )

Cautionary note: Prepare yourselves for a foreign concept. This timeline aims to submit the day before the advertised submission deadline. WOAH!!

 12 days before submission: Register for online system if necessary (takes 5 working days for Irish Arts Council). Invite referees to send letters; ask proofreaders if they’ll look at draft 1 of your doc in a week’s time.

11 days before submission: Analyse grant guidelines; get more info on objectives of the award by ringing awarding body (e.g Arts Council / hosting venue); brainstorm possible project activities.

10 days before submission: Choose project activity. Invite collaborators & ask for letter of support, costs & fees, CV, bio.

9 days before submission: Do draft schedule for project. Assemble all costings for project. Do draft 1 of budget

8 days before submission: Write CV

7 days before submission: Write ‘Statement of Artistic Practice’

6 days before submission: Assemble samples of creative work

5 days before submission: Do draft 2 of budget (… this time in Excel)

4 days before submission: Download and fill in first half of Application Form (for Irish AC, as far as ‘Details of proposal’)

3 days before submission: Finish Application Form, proofread, send for proofreading by others

2 days before submission: Assemble all letters of support, collaborators’ CVs and bios, references, any additional docs.

Day before submission: get proofreaders’ feedback and make final edits to Application Form

Day of submission: upload all files; double-check all files are uploaded; hit ‘submit’.

Day of submission deadline: relaaax! Maybe do some cooking!! 🙂

Aaaah, grant-writing… possibly the bane of my life. I will do ANYTHING to avoid it. But last night, as I was up at 4am batch-cooking 56 meals, I finally thought to myself ‘Úna, there has got to be a better way.’ And with that in mind, I have put together an aspirational schedule, and these tips for myself, for the next time I’m applying for a grant-a-roo.

Top tip: it’s so basic, but hit ‘save’ frequently. Including while working online.

–  With every significant change in your document, click ‘Save As’ and amend the filename with a number, e.g. BursaryDraft1.doc ,  BursaryDraft2.doc, BursaryDraft3.doc . Now if for some reason your document gets corrupted, all is not lost. 

– Timeline? I’ve learnt the hard way that I can’t organise mandatory documentation for a grant without an absolute minimum of 3 days’ notice. I need to start assembling this material a minimum of 3 days before the submission deadline, and ideally 12 days. (I can pull allnighters, but I can’t make other people answer my emails!)

– If it’s an online application system…  put all your supporting documents in one location, clearly labeled. This will save you hours in the eventual uploading process. At the very beginning of writing your grant:

1. Create a folder on your computer. Call it ‘Bursary X’.
2. Create a subfolder. Call it ‘Supporting Materials’.
3. Save every document you intend to upload to ‘Supporting Materials’.

– When contacting each referee and asking them for a letter of reference, tell them what grant you’re applying for, and what your focus is, but actually ask them to leave the title of the grant OUT of the application. That way you can recycle this letter for future use (and avoid bugging them again – a win-win!)

– Before you start, think ‘who do I know who could proofread my application?’ Aim for 2 people to proofread the first draft of your application form. Criteria for these people, in order of preference:

1. They won won the grant you are applying for in the past
2. They won a different grant, awarded by the same body, but the grants are in the same domain (e.g. for me, music)
3. They won a different grant in a different domain (e..g. for me, literature, theatre)
4. They are experienced grant writers
5. They are very good writers

(You may also want to think of 2 people to help you choose your best work for the supporting materials. These people don’t have to be academic, but must have expertise in your domain. For example, I asked 2 friends of mine who are excellent music critics, but not very ‘wordy’, to help me select the best of my audio recordings for inclusion in a grant I applied for last summer.)

Contact the people you’d like to proofread your application / listen to your material, tell them you’d like to send them your application in 5/6 days for submission in 7 days, and ask them if they’ll proofread it for you. People appreciate a heads-up. And some chocolate after 🙂

– I find that collecting quotes, letters of support and CVs from potential collaborators, is one of the most time-consuming tasks… perhaps because (a) it’s high stakes (it’s a mandatory requirement of an Irish AC application, so if you don’t include them in your application it won’t get assessed) and (b) it’s a tedious task so most normal humans put it off. Consider giving your invited collaborators a draft letter of support to edit themselves, just to get them started.

– Úna’s grant uploading checklist:

1. Application form
2. Examples of work
3. CV
4. Letters of support
5. Collaborators’ CVs
6. Collaborators’ bios
7. Letters of in-kind support
8. Letters of reference (a doc with bios of referees may be necessary)
9. Any additional docs, like an additional budget / schedule

– A few days after the whole shebang is submitted, I recommend making a list of all your referees, collaborators, proofreaders, anyone who helped you, and send them thank-you cards / emails. They took time out of their busy lives for you!!

… are you psychologically prepared?? If so, take a look at …

THE MASSIVELY, FABULOUSLY, WONDERFULLY, MAXIMALLY OPTIMISED GRANT-WRITING MASTERPLAN

*Huge thank you to sound engineer and music-maker Shay Leon for this excellent suggestion!

For years, I would race out of the house to the airport, wearing damp jeans – because I had left it so late to pack I had to wear clothes I had grabbed out of the washing machine, still wet!!! After a decade of travelling, I’ve finally figured out a few things that make the process more efficient. Hope these help you…

PREPARING

Long-term:

I always travel with two cards from two different ATM networks, e.g. a Visa AND a Mastercard, or a Link AND a Cirrus. Either I have 2 cards from 2 different ATM networks, or I have a card from one ATM network, and my travel buddy has a card from another ATM network. On a trip with a pal years ago, my friend’s card didn’t work, and if we hadn’t had cards from two different ATM networks we would have had a serious problemo.

6 weeks before departure:

• Last year when planning a long-haul trip, I suddenly realized I might have to get vaccines. 3 weeks before my departure, I went to the doctor, to find the lead-in time for all my jabs was … 5 weeks. I was able to get most of them, but had to travel without one of the recommended jabs. I do NOT recommend this. In future, I will give myself at least a 6-week lead-in time for vaccination. Please learn from my mistake, and check your vaccination requirements at least 6 weeks before departure!!

7 working days before departure:

• We all have a secret fear. Mine is I arriving in a country and my ATM card not working, or it taking me a few days to find an ATM where my card works. Therefore, particularly if I’m going far away, I think it’s a good idea to bring a bit of local currency with me. My local bank doesn’t carry currency from any developing country, so I have to order currency at least 5 working days before I depart.
• It’s a good idea to confirm the dress code for the gig a week before departure in case I need to get a particular garment.

3 days before departure:

• The obvious: laundry!
• …and I try to use up as much of my perishable food as possible. This few days is usually marked by unusual food combinations… Brussels sprouts and sweetcorn, anyone?!

1 working day before departure:

• It’s old-skool, but some airlines require a printout of the online check-in. So the last day before travel, I check that I have ink in my printer, and if not, I buy some. If I’m really organized, I go to McCambridge’s in Shop St., and buy Barry’s Tea and some gorgeous hard Irish cheese as a gift for my hosts. (Ask McCambridge’s to vacuum-pack the cheese and it travels beautifully). If I’m under pressure for time, I buy Barry’s Tea or a hard Irish cheese at the airport.
• I was in Asia in 2017; I didn’t tell the bank about my trip, and upon me using my card in an ATM so far away, the bank froze my card as an anti-fraud measure. It was SUPREMELY stressful being in a foreign country with no access to cash. So I recommend ringing your bank and telling them you’ll be going abroad, particularly if it’s to a different continent.
• If I’m anxious about theft, I make a photocopy of my passport, medical insurance docs, credit cards and put that page in a different location to my wallet.
• Buy any items I’m short of, e.g. protein bars ( …any excuse!  ) .

PACKING

A science in itself, here are my thoughts on How, and What, to Pack for a Trip , and The Perfect Travel Outfit .

LEAVING THE HOUSE

Before leaving, I aspire to …

• Empty my kitchen bins
• Put all perishable food from my fridge into the freezer
• Turn of all sockets EXCEPT for freezer
• Set up an autoresponder on my emails
• Put a msg on my voicemail

This prevents me arriving home to an exceedingly bad smell. !

FOR LIAISING AT ARRIVALS / MAXIMISING PRODUCTIVITY

I’ve made a habit of putting my plug converter and device rechargers in my handbag, not main luggage, so I can recharge my devices as necessary, even if my luggage is checked. (This is especially necessary now that some airlines have a policy of checking carry-on luggage at the gate.) This was a particularly good idea that one time I was landing in Beirut and had no idea who was picking me up…!

YOUR AIRPORT TRANSFER

There are 3 bus companies that service the route between Galway city and Dublin airport (in no particular order: Bus Éireann, Citylink, Gobus) When I’m bussing to/from Galway to Dublin airport for a flight, I deliberately buy only a single ticket. That means that when I fly back and arrive in Dublin airport, exhausted and needing to get home ASAP, I can hop on the next bus departing, rather than waiting for a bus run by the company I made the outbound journey on. It’s totally worth the extra €10 to get home to your bed when jetlagged and exhausted.

GETTING THROUGH SECURITY FAST

I consciously wear light, preferably slip-on, shoes to airport so I get through security asap. I once wore punk boots to the airport… what a TERRIBLE idea. Never again.

I deliberately don’t wear hair accessories going through airports. As they’re frequently made of metal, I have to take them off and put them in a tray going through security, and it’s one more thing to worry about plus I left a particularly nice flower in a security tray in Philly last year. Philly, you deflowered me. !

AVOIDING DVT

On most flights, I…

• stretch my legs while sitting in my seat
• get up and walk to the toilet / around the cabin at least once

Just once in my life I neglected to do this, and my legs swelled up – SO SCARY! If your legs swell up, it’s probably not serious, this is what I did and the swelling went down in a few hours.

Super sports therapist, Adrian Cradock, gave me a great tip to avoid / help back pain: bring a tennis ball, place it between your back and the seat, and rub the ball into your back as you travel. Also, to avoid DVT you can place the tennis ball under your thighs when sitting. To save space, I use my hand-therapy ball, the Handmaster, instead of a tennis ball.

TO FACILITATE SLEEPING

• Buy a J-pillow… A travel pillow recommended by Alexander Technique teacher (and excellent musician) Teresa Turner, it’s one of the best things I ever bought. Latch it to your handbag and never go on a long journey without it.
• I try to sleep as much as possible on flights. I generally sleep better with a bit of shade / darkness on my eyes. For years I travelled with a funkily-designed eyeshade, feeling very hip, until it was time to actually wear it, when the whole illusion of being ‘cool’ crumbled… the eyeshade would end up on my nose, in my mouth, on my forehead, EVERYWHERE but actually on my eyes. These days I bring a light raincoat with a hood, and pull the hood over my face to block out light when trying to sleep.
• When in the air, I try to drink more than my normal amount of water. I find that unless I do this, I wake up from dehydration. Yeuch.

WHILE ABROAD

I try to eat some natural yoghurt when I’m abroad; it lines my gut with local bacteria that help me digest local food.

So that’s it… Úna’s Últimate travelling system, conveniently condensed into a one-page checklist, which you can download here.

Hopefully these tips will help you to be healthy, relaxed, comfortable, time-efficient and rested during your travels… and at the very least, ensure that you don’t return to a smelly house! 🙂 In Irish, we say ‘Go n-éirí an bóthar leat… ‘ May the road rise to meet you. GOOD LUCK on your journey. Let me know if you find any of this helpful, and if you have any tips for me!!

Go n-éirí an bóthar leat,

Úna